请高手帮帮忙,谢谢了!

Sunshine
Hello everyone!Today we can talk aboat sunshine.The sunshine
is important to us.Beacause it takes warm and bright to us,we can survival in the world.And sunshine is good for our healthy,so we must "bathed in sunshine".And sometimes if you are angry ,you can "bathed in sunshine",then you can feel happy.
Now,do you like sunshine?
这是我写的,是叫各位帮我改改。谢谢了!

Sunshine
Hello everyone!Today I'm going to talk aboat sunshine.The sunshine is important to us.Beacause of the warmth it brings us ,we can survival in this world.Besides,the sunshine is good for our healthy,and everyday we can"bathed in the sunshine".Sometimes if you get angry ,you can "bathed in thesunshine",then the sunshine will make you feel happy.
So do you like the sunshine?

太儿童了.
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第1个回答  2008-07-10
哦,修改啊.
第二句把can删了
第五句must改成can
第2个回答  2008-07-10
阳光
大家好!今天,我们可以谈aboat sunshine.the阳光
重要的是要us.beacause需要温暖和光明给我们,我们可以生存,在world.and阳光是好的,为我们的健康,所以我们必须“沐浴在阳光下” 。有时如果你是愤怒,你可以“沐浴在阳光“ ,那么你可以感到高兴。
现在,你喜欢阳光?
第3个回答  2008-07-10
阳光
大家好!今天我们来谈谈阳光。阳光对于我们十分重要。因为它带给我们温暖和光明,使我们能在世界上生存。而且,阳光有益于我们的健康,所以我们必须进行“太阳浴”(或翻译成“晒太阳”)。另外,当你偶尔生气的时候,你可以“晒太阳”,这样你就会感到快乐。
现在,你喜欢阳光了么?
第4个回答  2008-07-10
大家好,今天我们要讨论阳光,阳光对于我们很重要,因为它提供了我们在这个世界上赖以生存的温暖和光亮。并且,阳光对我们的健康也有好处,所以我们必须“沐浴阳光”。当你生气时,你要“沐浴阳光”,那么你就会感到快乐。
那么,你喜欢阳光吗?
第5个回答  2008-07-10
Sunshine
Hello everyone!Today we talk aboat sunshine.The sunshine
is important to us.Beacause it is warm and brings light to us,so we can survival in the world.Besides,sunshine is good for our health, and it is good to take a bath uner the sun.Sometimes when you feel angry ,you can take a bath uner the sun to cheer you up. How wonderful is the sunshine!

Now,do you like sunshine?

can 表示情态和能力,可以删除。
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